Sharon Stone Messed Up My Sex Life

shit is fuck up ans stuffHer: “What are you writing?”

Me: “Just writing about how Basic Instinct fucked me up regarding masturbation habits.”

Her: “Little did the filmmakers know that Sharon Stone’s character would be the archetype for just about fuck-all every single girlfriend you’ve ever had.”

Who wants an embarrassing  TMI story? Yeah, I thought so.

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Liberal? Not quite…

3FDpJLately, I’ve been getting PM’s via Facebook, Twitter and YouTube about my being a liberal. I’d like to clear the air about this, seeing as I really don’t identify with the terms “Liberal”, “Progressive” or

FUCK_TN11

anything else like this. I don’t really feel the need to classify my political beliefs other than, “I believe in freedom to do what I want.”

What I believe in is succinctly defined by these three precepts;

  1. No one has the right to speak for me OR anyone else, which includes elected officials, or to deny me the right to speak for myself. I will say what I wish to whomever I wish, and will accept the consequences for what I say.
  2. No one has the right to say what I can and cannot do, including things that are harmful. I will do what I wish, whenever I wish, wherever I wish, provided I do not harm another person, and I accept the consequences for what I do.
  3. No one has the right to force their way of living, or do something that is harmful to me or anyone else. I will live the way I feel appropriate. If any facet of the way I live offends you, you are expected to kiss the fattest part of my ass.

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A Letter to My Daughter

6 monthsMy Dearest Mara,

When you were born, I didn’t really know much of what to do. All I did was smile and be happy with your mother, who was probably too exhausted to be happier. When we took you home, we didn’t really know too much more of what to do. We did what we thought we should, and so far it’s working out.

A couple of seconds ago, I was watching you eat a hotdog wrapped in a biscuit-type thingy and something amazing hit me.

You are more of an amazing person than I had hoped for, and you’re not even 3 yet. I look in your eyes, and I FEEL like you’re my daughter. You are so much more than your mother and I, and you haven’t even started to become anything near what you will be. Even when you’re causing hell and whining. Actually when you’re causing hell and whining, I know that you are your mother’s daughter, but that’s neither here nor there. :P

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Upheaval and Forging Ahead

1394731981237World of Warcraft Account, You Want?

So, first a couple of things. First, I am debating on getting rid of my World of Warcraft account. So if anyone would like to purchase my WoW account for $40, let me know. I have one 65 paladin on Gnomeregan and a bunch of other low level toons, as well as being caught up with all expansion packs (Burning Crusade, Lich King, Cataclysm, Pandaria). Basically you’d be getting a hundredish value for $40. Sounds like a good deal to me.

To be perfectly honest, I just don’t have the heart, patience or time for it right now, and I doubt I’ll have any of those things in the foreseeable future. If you’re interested, hit me up at bane@savrasbane.com.

Many Changes, Yes… Many Changes

Well, first and foremost, the beautiful and awesome Crystal is back in Nunu’s life and my life again. I can’t tell you how happy we both are. It is almost like a weight has been lifted and we have a part of ourselves back that was previously lost. Good times. What was odd, is that when we started hanging again, it was as if exactly zero time had passed. I love feeling that way. Life is good.  I guess that’s how you really know it’s family, is when you have a disagreement, and then all in on e moment, everything is forgiven and business as usual. In a way, you seem closer because your relationship has jumped that hurdle.

Second, I am about to (hopefully) start a new job, my wife is starting a new job. Things are about to get very busy, especially when you add to the pot our imminent start of school in August. (Hence one of the reasons my WoW account is up for sale.) Right now, me, Nunu, Mara and Sissy have nowhere to go but up, and it feels pretty damn good.

There are, of course, a few kinks to work out of what is pretty much a good set of circumstances, but nothing’s perfect I guess. Now just too look for a new place to live. :-)

Cheers,

Bane

Over-Exposure? Meh.

2ec8dd96300457dbc6f040242bb147db23f4767fed7c21f739fd54415b94c39eThat email I received yesterday really hit me in a basic way, namely it brought to the surface the question, “Do I reveal too much in my writing?”

What do YOU think? Feel free to tell me via email or in the comments below, or on Facebook. Or don’t. Whatever. This is a topic I never really thought too much about, because I assumed that this is what a blog is for. A place to share your life and thoughts about said life, no matter how trivial and mundane either may be.

I guess the reality is that I never considered myself part of the human race, and I look at humans through the prism of a similar creature, with similar characteristics, but quite simply, I’m not one of you. I see people getting stressed out by stupid things, and I fuckin’ giggle. I see you argue over trivial differences in the species and divisions and I wonder how it is that none of you have managed to kill all of us yet. As a student and cataloger of humanity, I consider my life anything but mundane and trivial. This is all I have. All I really own are my thoughts and my experiences, so if I’m not blogging about either of those, what the fuck am I writing about?

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A Letter From An Irate Reader

36385_1524545157492_4404602_aTo: bane@savrasbane.com

From: [email withheld]

Subject: Re: Your website and shit

Bane,

I am writing to tell you about what I think your site is about. I think your site is nothing but a venue for your own self-aggrandizement and a place for you to indulge in your narcissism. Your attempts at trying to throw your problems into the world’s stage is really pathetic. That’s all I really wanted to say.”

[Name withheld]

Well, having read this, of course my first reaction when dealing with any hater is, “Well, fuck this guy.” Then I mock them for a few minutes and forget about them, much like their parents did, except when I do it there’s no sodomy or the assurance that they’re my special little girl/boy to prevent them from calling the cops. However, I’d like to address this email, as poorly written and misspelled as it was. Seriously, it was in all caps and my spell-check almost shit itself and killed a kitten. It was that bad.

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Tried to Get a Free Character Transfer From Blizzard, Failed but Still Won…

Just made an attempt to get a free character transfer for World of Warcraft, and while I didn’t get it, I made them laugh and I giggled writing my request. Good time had by all.

My request:

Was just wondering if there was any way I could get a complimentary character transfer? Probably not, but I didn’t think it would hurt to ask. I play a mean guitar and I’m not the worst looking guy on the server? I can also bake a pie for whomever will do this for me. Seriously. Even pumpkin pie. Actually, especially pumpkin pie. Did I mention you’re looking especially nice today? That shirt really suits the color of your eyes. :-) Anyway if not, I at least hope my absurdity gave you a laugh. That is unless you take humor in payment. I’m also a little sleep deprived. Not because of WOW though. I have a 2 year old. A 2 year old who recently discovered that breaking Papa’s expensive gadgets is probably not the best use of her time.

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The Appeal of BDSM and Rough Play

BDSM_collar_backMy sexual encounters are more vanilla than most swinging couples out there, simply because I look at sex as a fine wine-type situation. I like to sample all of the subtle flavors and character of the encounters. However, there is a darker side to sexual theater known as “BDSM”, “Dominance Play”, “Rough Play”, etc; It goes by many different names. I’m not going to explain the elements here, it’s simply too large of a subject. If you want to learn more about it, aside from the “50 Shades of Grey” arena, check out the many and varied books on the subject, most notable Tristan’ Taormino’s “The Ultimate Guide to Kink”, available on Amazon.com. 

The reason I’m writing this article is because I get so many questions about it in my conversations and correspondence, that I figured I should touch on it, as well as my reasons for not partaking on a regular basis.

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Randomness…

baby-memes-omg-cute-things-083012-14I really don’t have anything to write about. My English teacher in high school, Mr. Joseph used to say, “If you are a writer, and you can’t think of anything to write about, just write random things. It will either make sense or it won’t. In either case, you’re still a writer.”

So, Shaun my brother in arms, made a garlic meatloaf last night that I got to partake in, and I literally had garlic farts all goddamned night long. It was like farting IV pizza, it was so amazing. My wife smelled like an Italian brothel last night as a result. I never wanted to lick her forehead before. But, fuck it. I did it and I feel like I’m closer to her as a husband because of it.

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