Who Am I?

My name is Johnathan Bane. Most people call me John or Bane. I don’t really care which you use. I relaunched my site today (1/23/2017) because I felt stifled in the writing atmosphere I was existing in. I need to curse, to rant and to make myself this bombastic person that everyone knows about me in reality.

But, who am I? I hate asking myself questions like this. It only ends with my having the biggest parts of my psyche on the kitchen table, while I prod around with a scalpel and an over-inflated sense of hyper-analysis. So, here we go.

  • I am a father to a wonderful daughter named Mara Jade. I named her such after a Star Wars character from the extended universe novels.
  • I am a husband to a woman that redefines what it means to be selfless, helpful, loving and perfect. I have never deserved her, especially considering my checkered past, and I will forever be unworthy of her. The fact she overlooks this glaring truth is another reason that I continue to choose to be her husband every day.
  • I am a polyamorist. I love everyone and everything, I have sex with whom I choose. I do this with the consent of my wife, who chooses her lovers VERY selectively.
  • I am a writer. I write things that seems on the edge of sanity, things that are insightful and things that should land me in prison. I write. I have no other way to get these thoughts out of my head.
  • I am a musician, you will never hear 98% of the shit I write because I have no intention of making a living from music. It’s an outlet. As a result, most of my music is unfinished.
  • I’m a server. I have been serving tables since I was a kid, and I can’t imagine myself doing anything else with my life. I love it. It is as big a part of my personality as being a husband, father and a writer.
  • I’m a lover. I look at a beautiful woman, and I swoon. I see a sunset and I weep with joy. I see sex as an expression of the human spirit and physical contact as the highest form of compliment you can give another. If I hug you, it is because I love you and want to comfort you.
  • I am a fighter. I am able to fight physically, and fight well. But, I will argue the things I feel are worth it with every ounce of my will and intellect. I will never bow to a will that is not my own, unless I have reason to. I will never be beaten. I love to fight.
  • I am a programmer. I enjoy creating software for devices and I enjoy tinkering. I want to know the “why”, not just the “how” or “what”.
  • I am unbeatable. You won’t win against me. Aside from not playing the game in the first place, fighting along side me is the only way to ensure you will not be beaten by me.
  • I embrace the darker parts of human nature as normal and healthy. I hold grudges, I feel hate, I feel anger, I embrace my dark side. But, instead of letting it destroy me, or hurting people around me, I channel it into my work.
  • I have a habit of controlling conversation. If I want to know something, I am relentless, but subtle in my pursuit of answers.
  • I am a gamer. I play a lot of video games for PC (not much of a console gamer… meh.), I also play Dungeons and Dragons and other pen and paper games. I make a lot of geek references.
  • I am a geek. I enjoy Star Trek, Star Wars, Stargate SG-1, Firefly, and a million other movies and series that are high fantasy, science fiction and things like this.
  • I am a voracious reader. My favorite book is 1984 from George Orwell. You can never read too many books, and my library is a bit extensive.

About Me From 10/2012

It’s Halloween, 2012 and I felt like I should update the “About Me” section of my blog. I don’t know why, other than I was just interested in catering to my narcissism. I suppose a random selection of reading fro this website gives you an insight into who I am as a person and what my beliefs are. Though, when my wife went through my site she said that I needed a succinct analogy of what it is to be me. So here goes.

The computer that I am currently writing on, is a piece of shit HP that a friend gave to me for Christmas because he knows I’m a hardware/software geek. It was dying of graphics card failure and other such problems. I brought it back from the dead, put a version of Linux on it that I had to write a patch for that bypassed most of the higher functions of the graphics card as well as a customized kernel that used the system resources a bit differently to compensate for some hardware limitations. When was all said and done, I had a great machine running an awesome OS (Linux Mint 9) that continues to surpass my expectations. Shortly after my resurrection of said machine, the “M” key started losing it’s sensitivity and would only work if I punched the key hard. So I changed my typing style to accommodate this.

The three things you should get from the above story are;

  1. I make miracles happen.
  2. I am adaptable to work around any situation.
  3. When something needs to be hit harder, I hit harder.

 

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